What Makes The Right Man Want The Wrong Woman?
What Makes The Right Man Want The Wrong Woman or What Makes the Right Woman Want The Wrong Man?
These questions have sparked too many books and articles to mention in this message. I will attempt to give you something to base your assumptions on. I am not saying that I have all the answers, but I have an opinion, and some clear answers that I think may help some men, and women looking for a perspective Good Wife or Good Husband.
My message will be based on God’s Word, The Holy Bible as the main resource.
There is a process in business called a S.W.O.T analysis. I believe that every man and every woman need to assess themselves before looking for Mr. Right or Ms. Right. I believe that every man or every woman is Mr. Right or Miss Right for someone.
I believe this can be assessed by doing a personal S.W.O.T. analysis. You need to determine your Strengths, Weaknesses, Opportunities and Threats (Outward Influences you must overcome).
God gives us in His word a sure-fire way for Christian believers to find the right Husband or Wife.
In 2nd Corinthians 6:14 (KJV) it says – Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? And what communion hath light with darkness?
This is one of the most disobeyed scriptures. Don’t play dumb if you are a believer in the Lord Jesus Christ. The Information I am sharing in this message should help if you apply it.
I said earlier that normal people are Mr. Right and Miss Right. There are no wrong men or wrong women. There are bad or inappropriate behaviors, as a result of people not knowing who they are; and what they were created to be. This can be discovered by doing a personal S.W.O.T. analysis as I recommended earlier.
I agree with God when He said what He said in Genesis 1:31(KJV) – And God saw everything that He had made, and behold, it was very good. And evening and morning were the sixth day. In that same Chapter, Genesis 1:27(KJV) it says – So God created man in his own image, in the image of God created he him; male and female created he them.
I suggest that men know themselves before seeking their Queen or their equal, their helpmeet. She is not simply your mate; she is your helpmeet. Woman came out of Man, the masculine side of mankind. She is therefore the seed of Man. She is not greater than or lesser than her King, she is the feminine side of mankind. God beheld what he made as said it is very good. (Gen.1:27).
God’s idea of the right man or woman is found in his word. It is the one who worships Him in Spirit and in Truth.
In the Book “Emotional Intelligence” Achieving Academic and Career Excellence (Darwin B. Nelson and Gary R. Low). It says in the chapter on Self Renewal and Personal Excellence and I quote
“Your beliefs about yourself are key factors in high achievement and the development of personal excellence. When you value and appreciate yourself as a unique person and your behaviors are congruent with your most important values, you can develop a sense of meaning and purpose. Once you are clear about your purpose and are confident in your abilities, you can create a guiding vision that leads you to higher levels of achievement and personal satisfaction.”
In other words, to that right man or right woman. If you don’t know what you are looking for, how can you find it? In the words of that great playwright William Shakespeare “To Thine Own Self Be Truth”.
You should not wear orange shoes with a red dress. It does not match. I have heard it said that the right man or woman for you should complement you where you fall short. In business when I need an employee, I need someone who can meet a need I cannot. I may know something about the position, but excellence requires I find a person excellent in the area that I fall short in.
I use my helpmeet as an example. She is a great mom and I would not dare venture to tell her how to mother our children, but I do know something about being a good father. I have the best example “Father God”.
I have met some people that feel like the right man, or woman for them is someone walking and breathing. I have also met some with such high standards that no one can live up to it, so they remain alone. I am going to share a scripture that some of you need to hear.
Romans 12:1 - 3
I beseech you therefore, brethren, by the mercies of God, that ye present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable unto God, which is your reasonable service.
2 And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God.
3 For I say, through the grace given unto me, to every man that is among you, not to think of himself more highly than he ought to think; but to think soberly, according as God hath dealt to every man the measure of faith. (KJV)
In other words, you are not all that and a bag of chips. Some of you are becoming intimate with every Tom, Dick or Harry, Susie, Kim or Brenda. Please most of all respect yourself and those you seek to be in relationship with; enough said.
The Myth of Mr. Right or Ms. Right, we can do without. We need to discover who we are first, then so called Mr. Right or Ms. Right will come into position.
I believe that pre-conceived notions are the death of many developing good relationships. We need to be patient and chased and let God make things clear to us. They can hide stuff from you, but they can hide nothing from God. The best advice I have is don’t rush into any relationship.
Confession time. In my first marriage I was not matched with the right woman for me, because I was in a hurry. She was a good woman, but ultimately not for me. We were married 11 years and had 2 children.
My present wife is my Ms. Right, because I was aware of my own Strengths, Weaknesses, Opportunities and Threats. We have been married now for over 26 years.
By Pastor David A. Colbert
CTM Staff Writer
This Article Originally published in Christian Times Magazine Issue 33 | August 2019